My Fare Lady

Mr. Snyde: You know what date it is today, the all-knowing Dr. Jerkyll?

Dr. Jerkyll: Of course. Its the 29th of Febuary, a rare occurance every 4 years, a leap year. Is there a point you would like to make in regard to this, Mr. Snyde?

Mr. Snyde: Well, nothing except the bugging question of why the hell are you reading Sunday's Lifestyle section 5 days late?

Dr. Jerkyll: Oh, that. Well, that is because there is this particular article that really caught my eye. One titled, "Do Singapore women expect too much?"

Mr. Snyde: Sounds interesting, rather unexpected of such an article to catch your attention, but still, hit me with what you've got.

Dr. Jerkyll: Certainly. The highlight of the article was a survey conducted on some Singaporean women. And the results are as follows.

[Flips open the newspaper]

Dr. Jerkyll: Ah here we go.... it says that 80 percent of Singaporean women expect their boyfriends to pay on dates and 92 percent of men will do so.

Mr. Snyde: Well, you can count me into the 92 percent of obliging gentlemen. Most of the time, at least.

Dr. Jerkyll: Ahem. 50 percent of the women expect men to open the doors to cars and restaurants and 88 percent of the men will do so.

Mr. Snyde: Hmm, this is a tough one. I do the doors to restaurants and all, but cars, well... not so much. But I guess more so than not, so you can count me into the 88 percent of well-mannered gentlemen.

Dr. Jerkyll: I didn't really ask for your involvement in this statistics, but well, no matter. 90 percent of the women expect men to send their girlfriends home after a date and 94 percent of men will do so.

My. Snyde: Oh, for this case, I'm in the 94 percent of thoughtful gentlemen who would ensure the lady's safety. Well... again, most of the time, at least.

Dr. Jerkyll: And "most" being the times which happen to be convenient for you I would suppose?

Mr. Snyde: Tsk, tsk. Details, details.

Dr. Jerkyll: Of course, just some selective omission of some rather "minor" details. Carrying on, 96 percent of women expect their boyfriends to initiate the celebration of special occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays and 92 percent of men will do so.

Mr. Snyde: Hah. This I can say for a fact that I am very much in league of extraordinary gentlemen that make up the 92 percent, considering my repeated emphasis on the meanings behind such occasions.

Dr. Jerkyll: Of course, not to mention the exorbitant amount you spend at each of these "culturally and metaphorically significant" events, to the extent that the annual amount of celebrations you end up paying for in 1 year, outweigh your partner by 14:1. The 1 being your birthday.

Mr. Snyde: Hah. But money is but material, my overly practical Dr. Jerkyll; the meaning behind such memories stretch far beyond the dollar. But still, its not like someone as out-of-the-field as yourself would be able to understand.

[Looks down at the newspaper and reads out in a louder tone than normal.]

Dr. Jerkyll: 88 percent of women expect their boyfriends to dress up for special occasions such as Valentine's Day and birthdays while 79 percent of men will do so.

Mr. Snyde: Hah. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I am in that 79 percent of well-groomed gentlemen, always dressed-to-the-nines with my hair almost always in perfect form, I'm sure even YOU cannot rebutt that fact, right?

Dr. Jerkyll: ....................24 percent of women expect their boyfriends to carry their handbags and 70 percent of men will do so.

Mr. Snyde: What? 70 percent of men are willing to be such idiots? I'm glad that I'm not one of these idiotic fools and I sure as hell am glad that ONLY 24 percent of bimbotic women have such expectations of their boyfriends.

Dr. Jerkyll: Amusing. So why are you not in the league of these 70 percent of extraordinary gentlemen then, my dear Mr. Snyde?

Mr. Snyde: Hah. The reason is simple, because I don't want to look like a stupid mofo carrying a gal's handbag and utterly ruining my previously mentioned always-dressed-to-the-nines image. There is a reason why I myself don't carry a bag, you know.

Dr. Jerkyll: So its all about the image then?

Mr. Snyde: Well, mostly. But a little bit because of the philosophy of "To each his own burden." And since I take it upon myself to minimize the things in my hands, why should I be covering the asses of gals who can't do the same, despite how pretty their asses might be? In turn, letting them enjoy the privilege that I spoil myself with my planned-minimalism at my expense.

Dr. Jerkyll: Unexpectedly convincing Mr. Snyde. You never fail to surprise me. But there is a greater point of worry here.

Mr. Snyde: What? What could be more important than looking like a stupid mofo?

Dr. Jerkyll: Well, if you would take a moment to step out of your over-indulgence yourself, then you would realise that the bigger issue at hand is actually the exorbitant expectation of Singapore women.

Mr. Snyde: So what bugs you so much then?

Dr. Jerkyll: Well, I'm a distinguished man of science and logic, and I admit that I have hardly any idea what goes behind the clockwork of romance, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the flaws the in concept of "equality" and "equilibrium" here.

Mr. Snyde: What does equality and equilibrium have to do with this?

Dr. Jerkyll: Well, in equality, there is a measurement of fairness; both sides of the scale have to weigh out to be worth the same amount of salt. Considering the mantras preached by these women state that they are worth the same amount of social salt as their male counterparts, it is bitterly ironic that their expectations of treatment from their counterparts stretch well beyond the boundaries of Equality, transcending very much into the realm of being the higher beings, thus deserving of such positively-discriminatory privileges. And what drives you to succumb to bestowing such privileges on the ladies then, Mr. Snyde? If you would please indulge me.

Mr. Snyde: Well, for me, as much as I do see a gal as an equal on a mental and emotional level, I am still more than willing to go the extra mile to give my dates such privileged treatment; not not because they want and expect me to do so, but purely due to the fact that I think that they deserve to feel special.

Dr. Jerkyll: So you are saying that such privileged treatment from you is more like a gift, one on a more emotionally-resounding level, perhaps?

Mr. Snyde: Well, you can put it that way I guess.

Dr. Jerkyll: If that is the case, and if it is entirely out of free-will as you so say, then would it be perfectly fine for you to stop the emotional-generosity and decide to stop handing out such privileges, am I right? After all, if it is a gift, then the power is entirely upon the giver to decide when to give or to not give the gift, isn't it?

Mr. Snyde: Well, yes. Theoretically, that would be the case. BUT, I wouldn't be getting any skirts if I decided to do that.

Dr. Jerkyll: And why so?

Mr. Snyde: Because I would fall way be totally ungentlemanly and probably turn them off big-time.

Dr. Jerkyll: Hah. but the point is, Mr. Snyde, that if it is the ladies are merely receivers of such "gifts" and privileges, then as the respective words suggest, they were entitlements given by the other party, and not anything that even came close to belonging to the ladies in the first place, is it not? Thus, it is wrong for them to form such "expectations" of receiving these gifts without having done anything to have earned them, is it not?

Mr. Snyde: I hate to say this, but in a way you are right Dr. Jerkyll. But still, no matter how logical it may sound when you put it on paper, the reality of the situation is that these "expectaions" have somewhat established themselves as the unsaid rules and invisible price tags in the Dating Game, rules that men have to adhere to.

Dr. Jerkyll: So the situation is that of a very twisted "equilibrium" then, is it not? 1 that exists without the notion of equality. With the unfair expectations developed by women, men have come to terms with forgoing the notion of attempting to achieve true equality and succumb to this unproportionate "norm", and furthering fueling the poisoning words of "should" or "only natural" or "I deserve" in the minds of women, allowing them to continue down this path of warped equality.

Mr. Snyde: Sigh. Sad but true, Dr. Jerkyll. But sader is the fact that this trend is probably not going to change anytime soon, at lesat not in Singapore. Everything on the island comes with a price, and fulfilling such expectations and probably seen as a sort of "fare" that men are willing to pay to even standing a remote chance of getting into skirts.

Dr. Jerkyll: Sadly, such are the circumstances that the thoughts of one man, no matter how distinguished cannot change.

Mr. Snyde: Why thank you Dr. Jerkyll, I think so too.

Dr. Jerkyll: ............................. Well, let's turn the tables around and talk about what you, as a man in the field, expect out of the women that you date then.

Mr. Snyde: Oh, that's easy. I'm a simple man, the gal just has to satisfy any single 1 of my 5 criteria to justify my dating her.

Dr. Jerkyll: Oh? And what might those criteria be, may I ask?

Mr. Snyde: Oh, nothing too tough. The gal has to be either:

#1 Classy and Sophisticated

#2 Sweet and Simple

#3 Hot and Sexy

#4 Cute and Friendly

#5 Cool and Character

Its a case of "or", not a case of "and"; nothing too hard to fulfill. Of course, the more fulfilled, the merrier, but still. See I told you I was a simple man.

Dr. Jerkyll:...................................................