Thursday, 22 January 2009

Between the News

It is hard to deny that the excitement of festivities in general tend to fade with age. I know that Last Christmas almost passed as a Black Christmas if not for a last-ditch effort by the girlfriend to salvage it (and to a resounding success).

This same sense of lost child-like enthusiasm permeates into the Lunar New Year preparations as well, but yet, not all is lost, as this is replaced by a, perhaps more adult motivation, the motivation to dissect the "New" in the New Year to drive different purposes.

Being Chinese, its almost inevitable to be at least partially swept up by the entire Lunar New Year-craze, and perhaps the implications that come with it. With the New Year and the Lunar New Year almost bearing the same message of resolution, change and a fresh start, the period between the New Year and the Lunar New Year is a weird one of transition and reinforcement.

Set resolutions are doubly-enforced with the proximity of the mental markers for these resolutions bearing such close proximity, and yet, it is also the time for second chances, to start the Race to Change for those who missed out at the bang of the New Year, just by that little bit.

In a sense, to have two New Years almost always so closely occurring should result in us Chinese being more susceptible to the hustle and bustle that comes about with the mental markers for change that we set for ourselves with the turn of the year(s).

As I grow older, especially this year, this events that transpired during "transit" time between the New Years has been significantly more jarring...

....I stand at the counter, tired yet relieved from an entire day's work of hunting for what my heart truly desires, through the phone lines. I check the goods, I feel my hand across its body, as I feel a soothing rush of excitement coupled with satisfaction flowing through my body.

I draw out my wallet, sliding the card out from its slot; I pause, hesitating at the price tag and considering the financial liabilities that would come with the object of desire. I brush it off with my optimism of the promise of the New Year, reinforcing it with the desire to obtain it before the other New Year.... and I relent...

- The Excuse of Change -

... Sweat drips off my brow, as I let out a sigh of exhaustion. I stand at the door to observe the my labours over the last two days. Plastic bags upon plastic bags of things left from too long ago lie in the hall, as I stare into my room, appreciating the new sense of spaciousness. I knew that I had already fulfilled one of the things that I set out to do in the New Year, and glad that I got it done before the second marker....

- The Motivation of Change -

..... I sit in the seminar room, taking an awkward sitting position due to the position of my seat in relation to the screen which was display the slides. I stare at, or through rather, the speaker; getting lost in the sea of jargon that was continuously filling up by the second with each movement of her lips.

I stared at the slides, feeling baffled; I looked around at the other 20-odd faces, feeling isolated; I took in a bit of the environment, feeling disorientated; I considered my prospects, feeling uncertain.

Suddenly, my chain of thought was shattered, a bone-chilling feeling rushing through my spine as she uttered the words,

"Welcome to RP."

- The Circumstance of Change -