Talk is Sexy...

When the Talking Stops, the Kissing Starts...

Starting from light playful pecks, the romantic momentum normally builds up gradually when two dormant romantic juggernauts are left uninterrupted. As the kisses get heavier (and wetter), so does the intensity in the air as the silence that becomes more deafening by the minute.

Yet, this silence between kisses is necessary, acting as peaceful staccatos between the sounds of suction made by the lips tightly pressed against each other; giving the couple a moment of rest to look into each others' eyes while relishing it.... the silence of the moment. Yes, this silence is the driving force behind the intensity essential for deep romance.... or so I thought, back then.

This was the mantra that I held back in my earlier days of dating. Viewing the romanticized picture of kisses captured through the frames of movies, novels and drama. The all-too-familiar scene of the two protagonists coming to an abrupt silence in their conversation, only to have their eyes meet, and naturally leaning forward for a kiss.... as the scene gets cut away, only leaving you with your imagination to fill in the romantic details that follow after. And if imagination was anything to go by, mine (naturally?) led to picturing them kissing intensely as the next step of logical progression, before leading to more drastic stages.

Yet, over the years, I've learned that this silence is hardly as rosy on this side of the silver screen. The "silent intensity" that expresses the romance between kisses, is mostly a romanticized myth. Yes, it might engage the soul for a while, but like all things, its only ephemeral. It normally isn't before long that it gets somewhat tiring, tiring in the sense that 2 people who are supposed to be so close are bogged down by the total lack of verbal communication. Yet, neither is brave enough to really say anything in fear of "spoiling the moment" by saying something that the other might find irrelevant, a turn-off or perhaps even offensive, at worst.

But I beg to differ from the depiction of this dramatized silence. Over the course of time, there is one thing that I have concluded during the process of prolonged kissing - or making out in general - and that is that Talk does not necessarily spoil the mood. In fact, Talk can actually be downright Sexy.

A well-timed line of wit to break the moments of silence between the kisses can help lighten the mood, providing a much-needed moment of relief from the continual intensity accumulated from the prolonged kissing. If done right, Talk can be amusing, and we all know that Laughter is sexy in its own right; a fine cocktail of pleasure derived from passion AND amusement.

These light-hearted moments of relief serve as a good point of relativity to the intensity of the silence during the kissing. Philosophically, there can only be a true understanding of one state when there is an existence of the anti-state. In English, it translates to: the contrast of the light-hearted moments of laughter serve as a contrast that can actually heighten the intensity of the kisses... all a matter of relativity and balance.

The drama-mamas will probably call my belief a heresy on "the essence of real romance," but then again, romance is partially about intimacy as well, connecting in the soul. And with a soul-baring connection, comfort plays the vital role of a pillar to the establishment of this intimacy. Thus, being able to laugh in between kisses confident of it not spoiling the mood thereafter is a rather ready display of the level of comfort between two souls, don't you think?

To paraphrase my (assclown) brother: Just because you are kissing someone doesn't make her any more (in terms of objectification of the person as an object of reverence) or less than the person that you've been with all this while. Essentially, she's still the same person, and there is no need for the imposing of an artificial level of sanctity and silence between the 2 of you, all in the name of "dramatic romance."

Of course, how Sexy the Talk ends up being is highly dependent on the key factors of line-delivery, relevance, wit (all of which I personally do not have a problem with), and chemistry between the 2 parties involved; but if done right, Talk can pave the sexiest way in which 2 pairs of lips could possibly interact.

... but when the Kissing starts, the Talking doesn't have to Stop.