Shot Through the Heart, Stabbed in the Back

Its a large irony when people think that I am the flirt and I am the one playing people out, when oftentimes, this is a frivolous assumption, and I am the one left with the knife in the back at the end of the day.

The issue comes to my fundamental pillars of belief in relationships being built on TRUST and HONESTY. While ABSOLUTE TRUST has led to my downfall in the last 2 relationships, it is a decision that I never regretted as the lesson of having someone you put your absolutely trust in betray it is a worthy penance to pay to take a step out of a relationship before you commit to that Tornberry (Backstabbing Monsters in Final Fantasy series) any longer. More shockingly however, I just learnt that I can actually get Tornberry-ed for honesty. I mean yes, people have said that my brutal honesty hurts people and possibly myself in the long-run (if I so believe in Karma), but I always held the opinion that in a form of emotional exchange, HONESTY is the order of the day... yet apparently.. not today.

It's amazing, that the aftermath of a transparent emotional honesty brings you down from grace further that than of a convenient lie. (Times like this makes me feel like being an outright jerk and just lie my way to get into the pants of my victims, but I won't, despite all that I say that I am).

It's amazing, when the willingness and freedom of opening your heart and soul to the possibility of a potential, is caged-in by a heart of broken pieces waiting to be picked.

Its amazing, how your rare specks of sincerity used to buy a few pounds of trust, are quickly sold to the highest bidders of insecurity, disparity and inequality when there are signs that the market is not a monopoly.

It's amazing, how the dripping afterthought a remote possibility is enough to penetrate the progress of the an emotional whirlpool waiting at the tides to be set into full motion.

It's amazing, that a showhand-wager of emotions with expectations of nothing more than a fair game at the prize, is conned by an expectation at exclusivity without the cashing of emotional-chips.

It's amazing, that the distances and differences that can I can mend with a silent chemistry, is diluted by mixture of loose-reasoning, fickle-mindedness and empty-promises.

It's amazing, my careful considerations under my callousness is undermined by your convenience, cowardice and callousness under your cheerfulness.

It's amazing, and I'm saying a prayer, for my desperate heart tonight.



Amazing
by Aerosmith

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins
There were times in my life When I was goin' insane Tryin' to walk through The pain

When I lost my grip And I hit the floor
Yeah,I thought I could leave but couldn't get out the door
I was so sick and tired Of livin' a lie
I was wishin that I Would die

[Chorus:]It's Amazing
With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
It's Amazing
When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright
It's Amazing And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight

That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen to all that righteous talk, oh yeah
I was out on the street,
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay Alive

[Chorus]
Desperate hearts, desperate hearts