Vampire in Japan : Day 9 - Counter Nemesis

20th May 2007

Imperial Palace: Harmony of Dissonance

Tapping my feet impatiently at the exit of the train station, with silent curses under my breath. Imperial palace was just across the road, but no sign of the rarity that actually dared to appear later than me. My bored mind started to wander off as I recalled the sights and tastes of the morning. Breakfast was a quick affair of Green Tea Kit-Kat and a rudimentary bottle of Poison to start the day. Questions regarding the queer sight of a festival that involved Middle-aged men walking around the streets of Asakusa in Sumo-like underwear flashed through my mind.

A familiar frame, signaturely-hunched silhouette in a Red jersey emerged; and like a bull seeing red, I hollered, "Ass Clown, you're late." Half-assed apologies and a quick mutual introduction to the China-man later, he blurted out "Uh, I need to find a toilet, it might take a while..."

"Bastard, first thing you need to do when you see us is that you need to shit... I need to go too." I classically responded.

Yup, exactly the way I remembered our 19-year friendship to be, full of angst and swearing (on my part). Bernard is a friendship relic and my first "official" best friend, but it was just a convenient moniker, we were more like childhood rivals through primary school and he was my favourite taunting bag in Secondary School (so much so he claims to be immune to my taunting now). It was only in JC that we started to tread on different paths, I aimed to become the epitome of fun, and him? Well, sorta the anti-thesis of fun, strived for academic achievement instead, selling his soul in the process; but at least it bought him a hefty scholarship that took him to the UK and now Japan, and as much as we hate (present tense) each other's guts, our sour friendship usually picked up where it left off, and it sure as hell was good to see a familiar face in a foreign land, ok.. maybe not so much the face.

A crapload later, he was ready to play tour guide for the day as we headed into the Imperial Palace, to survey how the Japanese royals live. According to our ass-guide, the Emperor lived deep within the palace, and the fact that they built a subway line using the palace as the central reference point (Marunouchi Line), only went to show the Jap's reverence towards their monarch. Even animals know their place and pay their respects, as we witnessed the usually- haughty swans humbly waddling through the moats of the palace.

A quick visit to a museum that displayed traditional Japanese Brush Art (including some pieces by the current Empress), did little to raise my appreciation for it. What I could fully appreciate however, was the Emperor's ASTOUNDINGLY Zen garden. Lush bushes of carefully primmed greenery, temperate-climate trees, SEVERELY obese Koi, a huge pond with two bridges sprawling across it, came together to form the layers of the little slice of Zen in the modern metropolis; oh, and the miniature waterfall... icing on the Zen cake.

The temptation of potentially adding a touch of my Dark Magic to the Zen landscape was too much for my mortal body to bear, so I just had to hop onto a rock in the middle of the pond to bring my own unique brand of magic to the garden.

Smoke on Water

Cooler than Mr. Miyagi

Its been proven that posing is EXTREMELY contagious (refer to Day 6, Manly Pose), so I just had to get my Best-Ass-Clown-Friend to pose in a shot with me. A keeper, if I must say so myself. Personally, I like the shot cos I think it captures the essence of our 19-year friendship, 2 poseur-rivals standing back-to-back, a huge landscape behind them, yet they're fighting for space over a small rock, one Ass-Cool, one *ahem* not so cool...Yup, pretty much sums it up, alright.

Harmony of Dissonance

A further walk down the garden after all the Zen posing took us down a path littered with various temperate flora, before we came to Edo Castle; or whatever was left of it, at least. Feudal war left many Japanese castles destroyed, such that most of which which exist today are restored in part or in whole. But for Edo castle, well.... not so much.

IMAGINE the castle rrrright there

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Yasukuni War Shrine: What's so Civil about War anyway?

A not-so-short walk took us to the war shrine notorious for countless gloomy Chinese-politician faces on International Television. The Yasukuni Shrine is a Shinto Shrine built to commemorate the bravery of the great warriors that fought for Japan through all the different ages. Apparently, in Shinto, the believers worship and pray towards the furniture of their ancestors or the people they believe in or something, kinda spooky if you ask me. But the solemnity of the mood of the shrine was quickly lightened by an amusing image of a crow perched on top of the bald head of a great samurai warrior, and of course, the smell of Giant Tako-yaki and Okonomiyaki didn't hurt either.

Calling for Controversy

A visit to the war museum allowed us to witness war-time vehicles like a live-size Zero fighter, and more interestingly, to delve in my latest favourite past-time, goofing off with funky hats. On a more serious note, its no secret that the Japs cover up their WWII shame by justifying war with economic expansion and all that bull. While the rest of the world looks at them as shirking their responsibility, I was wondering if its actually the logical thing to do on the part of the Japanese government; to delude the youths of the nation so that they will not have to hang their heads in shame. Delusional maybe, but essential perhaps, for the sake of national pride and progression of their society.

I Know who I'd shoot in a War

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Tokyo University: I see a Red Door and I wanna Paint it Black

The China-man's rather curiosity beckoned Ass-clown to take us to his academic haven, Tokyo University. Being a fan of Love Hina, I have always held an artistic impression of the university, and was semi-keen on verifying this impression. Upon arrival, the first thing that struck me was the accuracy of the scene from the comic, with the fabled clock tower providing a trademark backdrop for the University. The rest of the University architecture was a fusion of traditional heritage-rich exteriors with a touch of modern technology and furnishing in the interiors.

Picture Perfect

Coolest Student in Todai

One of the main cultural highlights of the University had to be the Red Gate, officially known as Goshuden-Mon. According to Ass-Clown, he said that its every (nerdy) Jap High School Kid's Dream to walk through the Red Gate. Just like in Love Hina, the results of the entrance to the University will be posted on a board outside of the Red Gate, and to pass through it symbolizes the first steps towards life in the best university in Tokyo (while the rest of the ousted kids consider jobs in the booming AV industry).

I make it Look SO Easy

The effects of the Green Tea Kit-Kat started to crumble as my mortal stomach growled in hunger after 6 hours on two chocolate sticks. Relief came from a little outlet of Maguro-Ichiba across the street in the form an extremely tasty bowl of Maguro Sashimi-don, and unlimited Mugi Tea for under 7,000 yen, definitely one of the best-valued meals of the entire trip.

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Shinjuku, Metropolitan Building: Elevation

Racing against the setting sun, our make-shift tour guide took us to the Metropolitan Building in Shinjuku, where we could catch a good view of the city landscape in the day and possibly even Mt. Fuji, and IF we were lucky. Anticipation built as the lift scaled and the sense of elevation increased. Considering the expectations set up Tokyo Tower two nights before, the first thing that struck me after stepping out into the 45th floor was the lack of ambiance compared to the jazzy-feel of Tokyo Tower. I hurried to the windows to get a bird's eye view of the landscape. I wasn't sure if it was the due to the location or due to the timing of day, but somehow, even though we were supposedly more elevated than we were in Tokyo Tower, the day view of the Tokyo City landscape wasn't half as breathtaking.

That's not to say that it wasn't beautiful, it was actually, it was just not as awe-inspiring as the night scene from Tokyo Tower. Probably there is just something about the Vampire's preference for millions of dazzling lights at night over a far reaching view that stretches into the horizon. Speaking of which, we noticed that we couldn't see any sign of Mt. Fuji in the horizon. So, we headed to the South Tower to roll the dice of destiny instead. In vain however, as while the outline of the ridges could be faintly identified at the horizon, the distinct snow-capped peak of Nirvana was sorely missing.

Yoyogi Park: Heart of Green

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Shibuya: Take a Bow

A day of fiddling with my (mum's) rather archaic camera had Ass-Clown pitching the idea of getting a new camera in Japan, since he claimed it was much cheaper there. The conniving fiend drove the stake into my vampiric shopper's heart by taking me to the Yodobashi Camera at Shibuya before dinner. I entered the place, willed against not blowing close to 500 bucks on something I didn't think that I'd need; at least that was until he showed me the new Nikon s50. I recalled the mother looking for a new camera, as I fiddled with the s50 and the Panasonic Lumix. But I fell in love with the s50, ESPECIALLY since it has totally NO protruding parts, was sleek & silver, and had the coolest "swish" sound when you turned the camera on. Wanting to call the mother for an opinion resulted in a futile attempt (as usual), so after MUCH deliberation, my impulse buying Mr. Hyde got the better of me, and I left the store defeated into a purchase; no thanks to a backstabbing make-shift tour guide trying to syphon me of my tourist yen, 27,000 of them to be exact.

9 Days in Japan without eating a sushi feast had us clamouring for it, as the Ass-Clown took us to a little outlet in one of the streets of Shibuya. The house rules were simple, each plate on the conveyor belt costs 105 yen, and each person had to order a minimum of 7 plates. Also, each person was expected to leave within half an hour. The queue moved quite fast due to the Japanese sense of self-awareness and self-regulation. We were given seats within 20 mins of waiting, albeit being split into pairs.

Bernard and I went on an exotic fish frenzy, as we picked whatever-sushi-that-couldn't-be-recognized off the conveyor belt. I had NO idea what the hell I was eating most of the time, but it didn't really matter, since whatever I ate, it seemed to taste excellent. We went ballistic with the tuna, sampling the 4 different grades of Maguro, Maguro Steak, Chutoro and Ootoro (again). Doing a side-by-side taste comparison, this time round it was apparent that Ootoro was the best of all the 4 different grades, and honestly, it was even better than the previous Ootoro-Sashimi, despite the lower price. The Ootoro was smoother this time round, fresher, juicier and felt a lot less like watermelon when I put it in my mouth. But still, I sure didn't get the same tastebud-orgasm that Kobe Beef endowed on me.

On the other end of the spectrum, there was Uni (Sea Urchin). Often regarded an acquired taste in Japanese cuisine, I earned a first-hand encounter with the need for the word "acquired." The texture of the thing was REALLY mushy, kinda like mussels, except that the "juice" was EXTREMELY bitter. Imagine taking a bite into it and having the bitter juice burst inside your mouth. Disgusting shit.

Save for that, dinner was pleasant, as the company of a 19-year old friend / rival over the dinner table was most fine. We nostalgically chatted about old times and picked up where we last left off about our current lives. Being the benevolent one, I decided to buy the Ass-clown dinner, partially for being a better-than-expected-tour-guide and also for his help in playing my translator during the camera purchase. Even though he claimed it was the first time he was actually getting a Jer Kangsanagi-treat, I was quite sure he was lying through his teeth.

After performing his final duties as a make-shift tour guide for the day by telling us about the layout of Shibuya, the Hachiko story, and the fact that we could actually take a photo right in the middle of the crossing when the Green Man was on (which I tried but somehow the camera man was so anxious the pic turned out blur), Ass-Clown bade his farewell, as the Tripartite prepared to take the entire Asakusa line back. It sure as hell was fun meeting up and catching up with a long-time friend in a foreign land.

Separation Anxiety

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Asakusa Temple: Too Little Too Late

Arriving back at Asakusa, we decided to heed the Ass-Clown's recommendation and revisit the stretch along Asakusa temple to pick up sourvenirs. Arriving at the familiar gates, we saw a group of people crowded in front of the temple, spectating at a queer event in progression. What we saw was two groups of people, sending out one representative at a time, who would hop a little on one foot, bow at each other, before what I would think is competing in downing a huge bowl of Sake, sorta like a drinking contest of sorts.

While the atmosphere was definitely joyous and festive, we made no sense of the event despite watching numerous bouts, so we decided to head a little inwards, towards the familiar temple. Most of the sourvenir stalls were closed in lieu of the festival, save for some road-side stalls set up near the temple proper. But our arrival proved to be a little too late, as even these stalls were on the verge of calling it a day. Nothing could stop us from investing in the festival tidbits though, while the Chinaman went for Giant Takoyakis, I chose to go for the stand which sold chic-friendly, chocolate-coated bananas.

Festive Vampire

With time left to spare, we decided to be the cheapskates that we were and go for our last chance for free drinks at the bar. Upon arrival, we were greeted by a full-house before the busty bar chic came over to serve us. My curiosity of the festival and opportunism led me to chatting up the bar chic to ask her about the festival. She said that it was the Sanja-Matsuri, and tried to describe the festival being about people carrying some sorta shrine around the streets of Asakusa. But I guess I was a little too distracted by her bouncing assets as she was doing all sort of cute actions trying to give me some visual aid as she spoke. Moreover, the "See anything You like?" on her T-shirt didn't make it any easier for me to concentrate.

Either way, the Tripartite decided to order some drinks as we soaked in the festive atmosphere, adding to the rowdiness with our discussions of how cute/hip Jap chics are when they speak English, as proven above, and the chics whom we thought were hot. The discussion was mainly between the China-man and I, as a very shy Bob vehemently refused to express his opinion of what type of chic he found hot. One Samurai rock, half a Sake and lots of boob-ogling later, we decided to call it a night. I figured that since my staring was probably quite obvious, the least I could do was complement the bar-chic on her "cute" T-shirt. Innuendos abound, but it was bound to be lost in traslation if I furthered my cause. A smooth compliment was acknowledged with a warm smile and a short "thank you," and I probably let my smoothness get to me so much that the thought of opportunistically grabbing a photo with the chic TOTALLY slipped my mind. Smooth indeed.

Vampire in Japan: Day 8 - Through the Looking Glass

19th May 2007

Tsukiji Fish Market: Better Off Dead

Bob's idea of catching the first train to the fish market went awry for the China-man and I, as we (I) struggled to crawl out of bed at around 6.30 a.m. Poor as the sleeping facilities were, think my level of mortal fatigue had accumulated enough over the last 7 days to disregard the circumstance. Arriving at a fashionably late 8.a.m., we were greeted by a spooky Bob who just "happened " to be hovering at the train station when we exited the gantry... coincidence?

While the chaotic auctions were supposedly over; the chaos itself, not so much, as we were navigated through busy cross-junctions filled with odd 3-wheeled transport vehicles. While initially not very keen on the whole idea of coming to Japan to visit a damn fish market, a walk around the market area left me semi-convinced as I caught glimpses of some of the more interesting catches: fresh crabs, scallops, squids with fresh black ink, live octopi, and even raw wasabi, were on display in the shops lining the walkways.

While the stench of the sea quickly negated the effects of my cologne first thing in the morning, the same aroma sent enough mental images (of the potential seafood served on platters) to stir my morning appetite. Budget issues landed us in the nearby Mac to satisfy the drive with a very odd cross between an Egg McMuffin and Hot Cakes as the muffin, conveniently seeking shelter from the early morning drizzle as well.

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Akihabara: Otaku Paradise

A short train ride in the Women-Only-Cabin took us to the gates of paradise. Apparently, such cabins exist for the sake of the protection of the office women from random groping and molestation during the peak hours of the morning commute. It was reportedly started due to the increasing number of molest cases on the trains. I guess I can't really blame them (the Hentais), as Jap chics are HOT, yes, even the office ladies, and some people are just a little more retarded in the self-restraint department.

The legendary street for all things Games and Anime (read: geek-dom) started off slow with an exploration of Yodobashi-Akiba, an electronic megaplex. Things only got interesting when we approached the upper floors of toys and games, with enough things to satisfy the Otaku (left pic) and the Hentai (right pic, oh... Kasumi-Chan).

The real action began when we took to the streets proper, lined with buildings upon buildings of game or anime shops, decorated with HUGE posters advertising for the latest games; it was an Otaku's paradise, or at least until you realised that you were climbing 6 / 7 floors of each building only to see the same few things over and over again. Either way, it was very heartwarming to see a culture built so strongly on the escapism, fantasy, and imagination found in games, manga and anime.

Despite an entire street of Otaku-fantasies, in the end, the China-man and I still succumbed to our mortal lustful desires as the thing that caught our attention the most were the chics dressed in funky cosplay costumes distributing flyers. We tried to ask them to take a photo with us, but policy didn't allow them to do so, so we tried to sneak in some shots instead. Bad timing or bad luck somehow always got in the way of the China-man's photos. So, always willing to lend a helping hand in nabbing voyeuristic shots of chics-in-cute-pink-cosplay-attires, I pulled off a fast-draw, without turning off the flash.

OBVIOUSLY the chic saw it and came over and said "Hey Dude, I know you think I'm hot, and I think you are too, but I'm sorry that its company policy that you can't grab a photo of me while I am working. alright?" Insult to injury came in the form of a not-quite-half-as-cute Uncle Bob repeating the same stern warning to me, in English.

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Harujuku Street: Vampire Vs. Zombie on Goth Street

The mortal bodies of the Tripartite beckoned for lunch the first thing on Harajuku, so we decided to settle for a little fast-food at Lotteria. The fries were well done and the burger was satisfyingly juicy, but our attention was on two group of cos-playing gals chatting each other up and photo-whoring together. Guess photo-whoring is a universal language for gals in most parts of the globe. But the discussion soon led to how to go about grabbing photos of the cos-players later, and eventually, friction ensued between the fork-tongued Vampire and the emotionless Zombie.....

Zombie Bob: "No matter what, when you take photos on the street you shouldn't use flash."

The Count: "I know, but like I said, I was trying to grab a fast shot, since Zhenfeng kept missing, I was carrying stuff with one hand and I didn't have time to turn off the flash. Besides, you're the one with the bloody professional camera, shouldn't you be putting it to better use?"

Zombie Bob: "All the more cos its a professional camera so it would be even more obvious if I were to take, right?"

The Count: "As obvious as a damn flash?"

(Zombie Bob goes silent)

The Count sadistically drills in his point: "Besides, you don't have to repeat the same point THREE times, right? I already heard you the first time round."

(Eyes shift towards dirt on the floor. Disgruntle munching of fries.)

By SHEER coincidence (I'm SURE), the Tripartite was broken up after lunch, as Bob got drowned out in the Saturday teenage crowd, while the China-man and I continued down the street. Harajuku is a street famous for cos-players to parade their elaborate attires, possibly make a statement and hopefully some common-minded crazy friends during the weekends. Many of them were dragging trolley bags along, which (according to the China-man) is what they use to bring their attires down to change, lest people on the train give them inappropriate stares of insanity.

Depression is part of the Costume too it seems

The REAL Deal

The China-man's fetish for cos-play continued to roll out more interesting trivia, as he told me that the cosplayers can be broadly divided into two kinds, the White Goth (cutesy-strawberry-short-cake kind) and Black Goth (Dark-bondage-leather-with-chains kind). Either way, their costumes were extremely elaborate, not to mention ridiculously expensive, and surely put my oh-so-Gothic-romantic-violet-eyes to shame.

Feeling Under-dressed / Looking Depressed

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Odaiba: Love is in the Air

After taking a day's walk through the looking glass of the modern Japanese City culture, the Tripartite decided to explore the romantic side of Tokyo, as we headed down to Odaiba. A leisure monorail ride took us up and across Rainbow Bridge, running side-by-side to the vehicular roads. Love was definitely in the air as the we exited the monorail station, warmly greeted by a romantic pinkish sunset.

Odaiba very much captured the essence of a bay side paradise, from the chilly bay side breeze to the city skyline across the bridge, it was no wonder that the setting was perfect for romance, a observation firmly validated by the number of couples that were scattered over the bay side pavement and in the dining areas. While missing the chrome-durian-domes of the local Esplanade, the bay side view of Rainbow Bridge and brightly-lit boats was more than enough to outclass the Esplanade a few fold. I wished they didn't add the cheesy Statue of Liberty replica though.

I must Point at something at least Once a Day

Esplanade on Steroids

Walking along the pavement, bypassing dining places and a cool, open-concept radio studio (which was on air with deejays smiling at the kids waving at them through the glass), we came to a little semi-circular platform that we decided to take a seat and absorb the essence of the beauty. The romance in the air must have gotten to me as I told the China-man that the atmosphere and the scene made me feel like wanting to be in a sappy relationship all over again. Reminiscing started as we had an open-hearted talk about relationships. Pouring my heart out must have left a void in my stomach as well, as dinner beckoned, and was more than appropriately answered by a delicious bowl of Cha-Shu Ramen. Seemed that the 2-budget meals-and-1-good-meal-a-day plan was working out excellently.

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Odaiba Ferris Wheel: Entering Shin-Mitsu Zone

The original plan to end the night was to look for the observatory at Odaiba to get another breathtaking view of the Tokyo night scene (since The Count is such a fan), and this time ironically get Tokyo Tower as part of the night scene as well. However, the plan was quickly thwarted as we were drawn to the flashing lights of the gigantic Ferris wheel, like moths to the flame. After mindlessly following the lights (and disregarding the ACTUAL walking distance), the Tripartite started to join the queue for the huge Ferris wheel. Not too sure if it was supposed to be the largest Ferris wheel in the world, but it sure looked like it could serve its purpose of giving us a wonderful night view.

Given the choice to wait 10 mins for the normal cabin or 35 mins for a fully transparent cabin, the Tripartite obviously chose efficiency over romance, since we were not very suited to be a romantic combination in the first place. However, what awaited us in the queue was AMUSING to say the least. For starters, we were greeted by this odd sign. Our noggin' - scratching continued regarding this whole Shinmitsu Zone thing as we queued. An ad informed us that the intimate distance between 2 ppl was 45cm, measured from centre of the head of 1 person to the next. And then it went on to educate Chics on how to initiate entering this intimate distance (Shinmistsu Zone) with a guy in the Ferris Wheel Cabin.

Holy Shit! Jap chics are hot AND they take initiative, really makes me wanna migrate away from the not-half-as-hot-and-yet-expect-to-be-wooed-like-goddesses local chics we have here. SEVERELY disappointing.

Anyway, the punchline of the ad was this extreme warning sign, to tell the females to be cautious of..... body odour, their OWN body odour (man, I LOVE Japan). Yes, contrary to what the rest of the globe believes, its seemed that the highly intelligent Japanese have come to realise that not all gals smell like flowers, and yes, gals can stink too. Thus they prompt the chics to use a specially designed female deodorant (incidentally the sponsor of the Ferris Wheel), lest the scare off the pretty boys with their, *ahem* personal aroma. Very, VERY innovative I must say, to use a Ferris Wheel as a marketing tool. Oh, and a very insightful observation too.

The marketing genius continued as we entered the cabin to realise that the cabins were very tactically marked with 45cm distances, to give an indication of the rough distance a couple should sit to achieve the intimate distance. The chuckles of laughter over how amusingly innovative this entire concept was slowly died down as the Ferris wheel escalated and the sense of vertigo thickened, with the view of the night scene stretching accordingly. The Tokyo Night Scene surprisingly managed to take my breath away for the 2nd night in a row. It's funny how essentially the same thing can actually amaze me all over again; perhaps this is the essence of true beauty, or just my personal love for the night.

Vampire in Japan: Day 7 - Independence Day

18th May 2007

Ginza: Toy Story

The realization of leaving comfort dawned heavily upon me as I gobbled down as much Bacon & Eggs as I could over the Breakfast Buffet Spread; this was it, no more comfy hotel beds, no more 2-people-a-room privacy, no more private bathrooms, no more 30-minute hotel toilet shit-fest, no more pampered bus rides, no more scrumptous buffet meals, no more tour guide (though this was not necessarily a bad thing, considering it WAS Chin-chin); most importantly, no more 8-member-entourage.

The last moments of the entourage were savoured through a planned half-day shopping spree, which started at Ginza. Alighting from the bus at the junction, we were presented with two choices, the Burberry's Boutique, which housed the Japan-only Blue Label; or a 4-level toy store; potential gifts for the mother to show filial piety, or the potential of FINALLY buying some interesting trinkets for myself, the choice was obvious, the toy store.

While the first floor got progressively tempting, peaking at a VERY cool home planetarium that projects stars and constellations onto your wall or ceiling, (which I was very tempted to get despite the SGD100++ price tag, considering my obsession for sleek designer stuff); it was the top floor that stole the show. Full of video games and related mechandise, my geek-senses went into overdrive as I gawked at all the Japan-exclusive stuff. In the end, decided to pamper my selfless-efforts in gift-buying over the last 6 days by rewarding myself with a set of Dragon Quest Monster Figurines.... a whole set of them.

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Teppanyaki Buffet Lunch: Enter Sacred Kobe Beef

The Last Lunch was consumed in a Seoul Garden-esque Teppanyaki Buffet Restaurant, but the highlight was definitely not the wide spread of meat, or the potato salad (despite what the gals think); deserving credit naturally went to the 8,000 yen (SGD 104) per piece Kobe Beef, an EXTREMELY expensive delicacies that even the Japanese themselves can't bear to eat on a regular basis. The Kobe cows are fed liquor and given massages regularly, to ensure the softest of meat texture.

While apprehensive at first about paying over a 1oo bucks for ONE slab of meat, the shadows of my doubts were put to ease when I saw the texture of the raw meat as I unwrapped it from its silver-wrapping. The fats on the meat were almost-artifically-evenly distributed throughout the meat, giving me the same shivers as the texture of the Perfect Melon.

Since it was a Teppanyaki Buffet, I had to play chef to my own gourmet desires, and for the record, I'm a TERRIBLE cook. After a little clumsy BBQ-ing, some nice stroking, and gentle patting of the little beef strip, I was all set to take my first bite into the legend. A little too hot for me to taste anything at first, I let the juice slowly savour into my delicate gourment tastebuds...then... HOLY SHIT!! EUREKA!!! I could have sworn my soul totally left my body for a moment; the sweet aroma of beef, the juiciness of the meat, the tenderness of its texture, was enough to send my Immortal Soul into beef-nirvana and back. The Count is and has always been an ARDENT beef fan (just the best meat in the world, in my opinion), but this, was absolutely the best friggin' beef in the whole damn world, and its all without any special seasoning, and by my own novice kitchen hand. And to think that it was ONLY the middle-grade type of Kobe Beef, IMAGINE what it would have been like if it were top grade, from the hands of a master chef; high-heaven i'm sure, high-heaven.

In fact, I was SO amazed by the Kobe Beef that I refused to eat ANY thing else for the rest of the buffet, for fear of spoiling the taste of the beef, and simply because my tastebuds were TOO damn spoilt already to savour cheap, ordinary beef (which kept me from dinner that night as well). Imagine the irony of the members of the entourage who had to leave after that and feed on SQ Beef on the way back.

You would look like this too if your Soul left your body.

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Ikebukuro: Declaration of Independence

A short 45 minutes at Ikebukuro Sunshine Plaza marked the final moments with the entourage and the venue for our Declaration of Independence. Using the time to explore the animate and other comic buildings across the street, the final moments very quickly whisked by, as we prepared to say our farewells to the rest of the entourage. As we were lugging our bags out of the bus storage, reflections of the last 6.5 days flashed through my mind.

The fun times that we shared, the ringing laughter during meal times, the late night Bridge-parties, the group photos, the 8-man company; as far as Japan was concerned, that was where it would end. I reflected on the new friendship built (Serena), and the deepening of existing friendships with ALL the members of the entourage (even Bob), especially with Sujun as our two big butts were practically competing for butt space at the back of the bus for most of the bus rides, and not to mention she was good company too. As we bid our farewells and said our "thank yous," a solemn Chin-chin wished us luck and thanked us, all of us, and called us "very smart young people" (whatever led him to THAT idea).

Spot the 40-year old balding Tour Guide: Chin-chin

End of the Road

Waves of goodbye echoed the realisation of a much smaller and lonelier 3-man tripatite now, as we decided to head inside Sunshine Plaza to do some shopping, big-bag-lugging included. Inconvenient shopping yielded a lot of shoulder-abrasion, tired legs and a SGD-40 dollar shirt after much deliberation. As we left Ikebukuro, the independence of self-navigation kicked into full-gear. If tour was auto-pilot, then this new self-navigation independence would be likened to a damn rickshaw.

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Asakusa: Heaven and Hell

A little navigation through the convoluted Japanese subway lines took us to Asakusa, the neighbourhood we would call home for the next 4 nights. Map navigation took us a huffing 15-min walk (instead of the stated 5) across a bridge in the middle of the relatively quiet Asakusa district, to our Hostel, Khaosan Tokyo Annex. The stillness of the streets were a stark contrast to the bustling Shinjuku nightlife we had grown accustomed to, as our pants echoed loudly through the silence.

Vampire in the Twilight

Upon arrival and checking in, we scaled 4 stories up to our floor only to open the gateway into accomodation-hell. Walking in to a level with one kitchen area, one shower, one toilet and one dining table in the centre, the rest of the level was partitioned into smaller compartments. And each of the compartments were considered one "room." Ours being a 6-man room, was basically just a little walkway with 3 double-decked beds, and I could have sworn it the air-con was down. The partition was also thin enough such that when ANYONE on the floor snores loudly enough, its audible to everyone. Stark thoughts of the heavenly hotel accomodation flashed in my mind, as I sighed to myself that it was gonna be a VERY long 3 nights. Salvation came for the hostel in two forms, a free drink at the neighbourhood bar for hostel tenants every night, and the cute owner's daughter with an equally cute "Hi!" as we headed towards the bar.

The (now) tripatite headed to the bar to study the maps to get to Tokyo Tower, under my insistence, since I am such a fan of the night view. Given that we had to get there before 9.30p.m., we sure took our time sipping our drinks (Vodka Apple), and ogling at the cute bar babe with even cuter boobies as she bent down to take orders. When (I) we finally picked (my) our jaws off the floor, we made a hasty trip towards Akabanebashi.

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Tokyo Tower: Tokyo Nights

A surprisingly reasonably-priced fee took us on a suspenseful lift ride up towards the 150m Middle Observatory. I held my breath in anticipation as memories of the Lights of Seoul flashed in my head, the utter amazement I experienced as I overlooked the millions and millions of lights up on the windy Namsan. "It would surely be a tough act to beat," I told myself, as I stepped out of the lift into the observatory.

Dimly lit, with soft jazz music playing in the background; the observatory provided a 360 degree paranomic view of Tokyo city through the glass panels. Due to the rather central location of Tokyo Tower, lights could be seen from every angle, and sight boards indicated the districts that you were looking at. I was IMMEDIATELY floored, the ambience: soothing yet romantic, the view: SIMPLY BREATHTAKING. Better than Seoul... HELL YEAH! In fact... it was the...

BEST-NIGHT-SCENE-VIEW-EVER

The China-man's words rang true as I heeded his advice to just absorb the essence of the view, and not concentrate on photos first. I let myself get totally immersed in all the beauty, watching the millions upon millions of lights, soaking in the classy jazz atmosphere, before I took a deep breath to try to capture the beauty on camera. But the China-man was spot-on when he said that the night scene is not something that can be accurately caught on film, its something that you MUST see in person to truly appreciate its beauty.

The beauty of the night scene INSTANTLY validated my extension, as I thought to myself that I would never be able to describe the beauty of it accurately through words or through photos, and the rest of the entourage had no idea what they were missing. The couples enjoying the romance of the night view stirred the romantic in me, since Vampires are romantic and charming creatures after all. Imagine a scene with dim lights, soothing jazz music playing in the background, two lovers huddled at one glass panel, staring at the lights together, a warm kiss followed by a sincere proposal; probably enough to melt the heart of the most hardened. Well, guess we'll have to wait 7 years to find out who the lucky gal is gonna be.

Time seemingly cuts corners when you are totally immersed, so much so that when they were beckoning us to leave at closing, I still felt that I haven't nearly quite stared at the blinding dancing lights enough yet to leave with a satisfied soul. In fact, I partially resented not paying 3,000 yen to go to the special observatory at 250m, I'm sure the view from up above would be even more spectacular. As we headed back to Asakusa for a late-night sandwich dinner, thoughts of revisiting the tower one more time before I left Japan, lingered hauntingly at the back of my mind.

Vampire in Japan: Day 6 - Magic and Mayhem

17th May 2007

Asakusa Kannon Temple: Robbing the Gods

While the rooms in the Shinjuku Prince Hotel were stingy with its room space, their restaurant's breakfast buffet spread was anything but. A heavy feast of Bacon & Eggs later, the entourage was ready all upbeat and ready to battle the rainy weather that awaited us; of course with a little aid from the stylish little transparent umbrellas that the Japs used, which shielded my crown, yet retained the visual glory of beholding it, very nice.

A visit to the Asakusa Kannon Temple first thing in the morning had as witnessing the local folk setting up stalls for an upcoming festival, in spite of the rain that had me fully-zipped and shivering. The temple had the architecture of a traditional Chinese temple, yet with a temple trademark of a distinctively Japanese lantern.

A 100-yen donation entitled one to shake for a lot of fortune, where customary to keep the good lots, but tie the bad ones to a rack or something if Lady Luck was graceful. The one thing that I learnt was not to rob from the gods, as Serena tried to be a cheapskate, and not donate the 100 yen, and the gods gave her the divinely bad lot. Later when she decided to show a bit more material grace, the gods apparently returned in kind by giving her an OK lot. Yet, the gods seemed to be kind to the notoriously ill-lucked Sheng; and Sujun thought her message symbolically enlightening.

Shopping in the stalls that lined the temple streets yielded a bountiful harvest of traditional Japanese trinkets and souvenirs. The only problem was the umbrellas and the height of a particular minion walking next to me, as SHE was just the right height to drive her umbrella into my BEAUTIFUL face more than once. The pain made me wanna goof off with a set of Traditional Japanese Mask that I saw, but the watchful eye of the shopkeeper kept me from transforming into Mr. Karate.

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Tokyo Disneyland: Divide and Conquer the Magical Kingdom

The first thing that struck me when I entered the Magical Kingdom was that somehow, it didn't manage to capture the same essence of the other Disneylands that I've been to. I'm not too sure if this is a hereditary disease that my dad passed to me; the loss-of-amazement-at-the-Disney-magic-with-the-increase-in-age-and-number-of-visits-sitis, or was it really a little underwhelming compared to the Europe and US ones. But still, since I was already standing in the Magical Kingdom, I figured I might as well try to immerse myself into the whole atmosphere and relive my childhood wonder again (minus the Dumbo ride).

Seconds before I kicked Kuma-no-Pooh-san's Ass

The Count, his castle and his Minions

The entourage decided to go for the most thrilling ride first, a recommendation Space Mountain. Queue times were MUCH shorter than Universal Studio thankfully, as the little lambs, Sheng and the China-man, considered bailing out of the queue as the anticipation chewed at them. The ride was very different from what I remembered it to be. It splendidly recreated the atmosphere and sensation of taking a high-speed space craft through a winding path in space, complete with the light-speed effect at the end. Fellow Disney-veteran Siwei agreed that this was probably even better than the US one. And while the ride was not half as thrilling those in USJ, my insistence was / is that "Disney is not about the thrill, its all about the ambience."

But this new-found rekindling quickly dissipated after the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters. A stupid kids ride that had us riding this slow-ass vehicle shooting targets with a laser gun as we moved along, not exactly my idea of re-living my childhood. My score sucked for the first half of the ride, till the ride stopped midway and I opportunistically exploited the same target over and over till my points skyrocketed. The worst part: only discovering we could rotate the entire vehicle in the last 10 seconds of the ride. What was more fun however, was goofing off in the store that we exited into, and pulling the China-man along as penance for suggesting the ride.

Now do you think I'm Good-Looking?

The magic was short-lived for some however, as half the entourage were in a hurry to grow up and head for the mayhem of Shibuya. I pitched for a split partially because I didn't believe in spending 8 hours shopping in Shibuya, and also because I wanted to remain as Peter Pan a little longer.

My boyish charisma managed to buy 4 people to my cause (even though I WAS prepared to stay there alone if need be), the couple and Sujun (surprisingly), were willing to play my Wendy, John and Michael (make that a Michelle in this case); while the other 4 braved the rain to leave Never Never Land. With an agreed 6pm rendezvous at Shibuya Station, we had approximately 4 hours to find Tinkerbell and strangle the essence of the Disney Magic out of her.

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Capturing the Magic in 4 Hours

4 Hours is REALLY too short to navigate a theme park with 7 worlds and some 40 rides (including the likes of Dumb-ass Dumbo), and considering the queue times (even IF it was a Thursday), it meant that I had to use my suppressed-years of Disney experience to skip the details and grab the essence of the Disney magic, in 4 simple steps:

1) Fill yourself with Disney Magic: Disneyland Lunch

Description: "The magic has to come from the inside" is what they always say in romance novels or sappy movies. Well, no better way to put this saying to literal meaning than to buy ourselves a surprisingly reasonably-priced Disney Pizza meal, complete with Mickey Mouse Cream Puffs, and internalizing some Disney magic. Too bad as with all things internalized, it'll probably "externalize" at some point or another.

Verdict: The reasonable price was accompanied by a rather satisfying meal.

Why was it Essential?: It was lunch, and it was the best use of our time waiting for the heavy rain to simmer down. 'Nuff said.

2) Seeking World Peace: It's a Small World

Description: A trademark Disney boat ride that showcased a miniature alternate-reality world of little mannequins that represented different cultures and promoted the message of world peace. If the sights in the ride failed to get the message across to you, the repeated playing of the song will surely hypnotize you into believing it.

Verdict: Harmless, and sickeningly sweet. My mum's favourite Disney ride probably.

Why was it Essential?: Can you say you've been touched by the Disney magic if you don't believe in World Peace and don't hate the smelly fuck sitting next to you on the bus? I didn't think so.

3) The (Epi)Tome of Ambience: Haunted Mansion

Description: Using cool special effects, the Haunted Mansion ride was more hauntingly beautiful than it was meant to scare the living hell out of us. The way in which they built the atmosphere and anticipation up for the ride in the lift has always been a memorable moment in Disney for me.

Verdict: If Disney is all about ambience, then the Haunted Mansion ride is the epitome of this. Very cool stuff.

Why was it Essential?: Probably one of the best rides in terms of atmosphere created, a pity the movie sucked ass.

4) Mountain to Molehill: Thunder Mountain Railroad

Description: The second most visible landmark in Disneyland besides the big-ass castle, Thunder Mountain Railroad is a semi-roller-coaster train ride that takes you through a winding rides in the gold mines.

Verdict: The US one had the Dinosaur bones, the European version had the train splashing through water, and the Japanese one had... American 20th Century Gold Miners who could speak Japanese. Very mild.

Why was it Essential?: The mountian is a landmark of Frontier land and practically screams "Ride me" at you when you look at it.

Manliness is a contagious Disease

Queue times left us too constrained to really venture into Critter Country or Adventureland (damn!), making us miss some good rides like Splash Mountain, Pirates of the Carribean (I wonder if they found a way to put Jack Sparrow into the ride?), and Jungle Cruise. I really wished we had the time to stay a little longer. But either way, the magic of Disney in me was rejuvenated enough to believe that my kid deserves to grow up to Disney (that is IF the Mentos doesn't get to me / him first). Still, the cruelty of time forced us to leave Never Never Land and grow into REAL men (and women). Oh well, at least we got to eat our Maple Churros and left with "A small world" still ringing in our heads. And it was probably the time that I actually bonded with the couple the most, since most of the time, they were quite in a world of their own.

Real Men Don't Care About Schoolgirls looking at them Pose

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Shibuya: Metropolitan Mayhem

A little navigation on the seemingly complex subway system of Tokyo got us to Shibuya without too much trouble, except wondering why the train stopped at lesser stops than what we counted (which I found out later was due to different express subway services). Meeting up with the rest of the empty-handed entourage allowed us to gain two pieces of information, the place was confusing as hell, and that the stuff they sold were expensive as hell.

Surfacing from the subway station, the first thing that caught my attention was the HUGE LCD screens at a very busy junction, with multitudes upon multitudes of fashionable Jap people crossing in all directions. While I had gotten used to seeing cross-junction pedestrian-crossings by then, this particular crossing at Shibuya was even more radical. It was practically an asterisk, and for one minute or so, all cars would stop and chaotic-pedestrian-mayhem would ensue. This junction was also the junction that is regarded as a Tokyo landmark, with cameos in the Amazing Race and Death Note.

However, I didn't know that THAT was the junction that I was looking for till a few days later, as I clearly remembered there being some bronze statue; and since I couldn't find the statue, I didn't think it the landmark that I was seeking. It was only later, that I found out that the statue of a loyal dog, Hachiko, was supposedly melted down and stolen by a group of masked robbers, and the process was caught on video. The irony of removing the statue of a loyal dog from its guard post sounds rather intentional, if you ask me.

Shibuya is basically a fan-shaped area from the junction, with a centre main road running through it and probably 3 or 5 other small veins in the fan. Thousands of shops littered either side of either road in the entire area. The area was practically Orchard Road on steroids and Ecstasy at the same time. People were VERY fashionably dressed, as if it was a silent code amongst them that this WAS the area to see and be seen. Particularly eye-catching were the Shibuya chics, (artificially) tanned gals who would dye their locks a strikingly shade of white or even rainbow-coloured, for the effect of stark contrast. Either way, the overwhelmingly-fashionable people probably made the entire entourage seem touristically-underdressed, even the Rock Star, and that's saying quite a lot.

Dinner was a reasonable and pleasant affair of Tori-don. And a little walking in the famous Shibuya-109s later, but the prices had us beckoning for a quick exit. Coincidence was probably playing her hand as we caught some familiar faces as we were exiting Shibuya 109, which is really queer, how I don't seem to run into such coincidences in puny Singapore and yet can find the needle in the Japanese haystack.

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Shinjuku: Enter Mighty Exaggerate Legendary Fish - Ootoro

The hunt for the much-hyped legendary Fatty Tuna Belly took us back to Shinjuku, to a Sushi Bar that has been at the back of our minds since the night before. The arrogant claim of "when I am not around, you all can't seem to find your way" by a member of the entourage who was out due to bodily weakness the night before left quite a few imaginary fist at the verge of his nose-bridge.

Still, a little navigation and a little difficulty in communicating with the poor waiter later, we were presented with our 400-yen-per-piece (SGD 6) slices of heaven. An initial nibble to the edge of heaven actually registered "fruit" rather than Sashimi. Somehow, the texture of the legendary fish tasted like... watermelon. Sure, it was an obvious grade above the normal Maguro (Tuna Sashimi) that we normally eat, but it didn't give me the melt-in-your-mouth orgasmic feel that I had anticipated. A little overrated.

While the gourmets at the conveyor strip went on to order other exquisite cuisine, the Mickey Mouse Club settled for a cheaper combination Sashimi plate of regular Sashimi. Surprisingly, the regular Sashimi was not so regular after all, in fact, it was EXCELLENT. Great value for money, especially when you consider the fact that 3 out of 4 of the gourmets had some sort of bowel disorder after that.

The last night of memories for some, and comfort for others, ended on a definitive low, as the entourage failed to capture the essence of the final night and let it slip away into peaceful slumber.. a waste I would think, considering they had days ahead to sleep all they wanted back in their respective abodes, but well, to each his own.

Vampire in Japan: Day 5 - To Nirvana and Beyond

16th May 2007

Mt. Fuji 5th Station: Nirvana

The road to Nirvana started with a customary exploit of the Sinko Hotel Onsen services (so spoilt I was that I MUST bathe in an Onsen every time it was available.) But it seemed that I was the only one willing to sacrifice additional slumber for muscle relaxation, and to think it was the last Onsen chance for some of them; sigh, the mentality of the pauper. "Another missed chance for photo-taking" was the thought lingering in my head as I sat in the bath alone.

Refreshed with a hot bath and a hearty breakfast, we were finally ready for our 1.5-hour ascent to Nirvana. The trip was pleasant save for the small bladder which screamed of overflowing after some 20 minutes into the ascent. That still didn't deter the resilient Count from appreciating the increasingly beautiful scenery as we gained altitude. The colours of the trees traded their coats of green for a coniferous brown as we scaled higher. The glass windows got progressively cooler as we started to see snow litter the road-side. And soon, we saw it, the motherlode of Zen, the peak of Nirvana...

Standing at its full 3,776m, against the morning sun, its distinct snow-capped peak looked all the more intricate from up-close. A conic volcano that attained its current shape approximately 10,000 years ago as a result of multiple eruptions, Mt. Fuji's last recorded eruption was in 1707, but Chin-chin said that scientist have predicted that the an impending eruption is in the cards. Imagine the damage considering that it spans across 4 cities; the cruelty of Nirvana when it transforms into a fiery hell.

While not the most visually pleasing tour-guide, I had to admit that Chin-chin was quite useful in being able to predict the weather to be fine and dandy for our ascent. His other bits of trivia include telling us that the Japanese people believe to truly acquire Nirvana, and be considered a true-blue Japanese, they have to scale to the top of Nirvana three times in their lifetime. A mean feat, considering that my Japanese Auntie Motoko told me she took 8 hours to get to the top, and another 8 to come down, and she only did it once.

Time didn't have enough grace to allow us to attain that level of Zen that day, (afterall we WERE on a scheduled tour), but the view from the 5th station was already breathtaking in its own right. The sun and the wind instantly validated my Rock-star jacket and shades the moment I got off the bus, but my distaste for jeans left my cajones and me in cringing regret as the wind teared through the two thin layers of cotton. Still, the Count's usual cockroach-like resilience shone through in bringing out the best photos possible.

The Count's obsession with keychains left him in the souvenier store a little longer than required, eventually getting separated from the rest of the entourage that were all-so-eager to absorb the aura of Zen from Nirvana. Didn't put me in much of a hurry to look for them though, I've always been a fan of the majesticity of mountain views, and as far as that goes, Mt. Fuji's majesticity comes in spades. Exhilarting views from every angle (almost, minus the angle facing the horses' butts), I was awe-struck by the wonder of the surrounding scenery. And it only further fueled the curiosity of the view from the peak.

When the entourage finally consolidated, we decided to use the remaining time to grab a couple of postcard shots for keeps.

So where the Bloody Hell are You?

Thanks for being in our Pic you Senile Old Fools

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Yokohama: Docking at the Port Town

With Nirvana attained after two days of scenic travelling, Mt. Fuji marked the end of our sight-seeing escapades. Beyond Nirvana, the spotlight shifted to the culture and lifestyle of the modern Japanese people, as we embarked towards Tokyo. The first stop towards modernization landed us in Yokohama, a port town in the likes of Hong Kong. Lunch came in the form of a very tasty Gyu Don at Queen's Square, with not-so-obvious shoe racks that earned as a good old-fashioned Japanese scolding from the Obasans working there. It seems that the Japanese idea of comfort or respect is the taking off of shoes, as I realised from the eateries patronized in the last few days had shoe-lockers specially placed to cater to this custom.

Post-Lunch, the original plan was to visit the Cosmos Themepark, home of the ex-largest Ferris Wheel (till it got beaten by the London Eye, which got beaten by another Ferris Wheel in Tokyo), but not too many were very keen on it, so we skipped that only to have a very ironic Chin-chin take us to another theme park.

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Happy Island Theme Park: White Dolphins

The first thing that caught our attention in the theme park was an absolutely INSANE free-fall ride that was sick enough to play some Gothic Choir singing on your way up, freeze the music at the top, before blasting some mad screams in your ears while letting you fall, and trust me, its a LONG LONG fall. Sadly, budgeting and lack-of-company issues kept all of us off that ride; and I regret my decision to conform, it would have been one hell of a ride.

The highlight of the aquarium /theme park was probably the White Dolphins, a species i NEVER knew existed. They had odd patterns on their body, which made me wonder if it was natural or cosmetic. While the rest of the entourage were enthralled by the Dolphin feeding and training show, Siwei and I were busy discussing the physics of the Dolphins' landings, the pride of the Dolphin trainers in their occupation and the poor engineering of a particular water ride, which got stuck more times than one, and I thought the Japs were engineering geniuses.

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Shinjuku, Tokyo: Catcher in the Light

As the bus wound through the highways in Tokyo City, Chin-chin was giving us a brief run-down of capital. Being one of the fashion capitals of the World, Tokyo houses a population of approximately 12 million. The city consists of 23 different districts, with Shinjuku, being one of them; not to mention also being one of the most notorious red light districts in the world, probably cos Jap prostitutes are damn hot. I also caught a glimpse of Tokyo Tower for the first time, looked a lot shorter than expected; and even though it is supposedly taller than the Eiffel Tower, somehow the surrounding buildings totally undermined it; speaking of which, I was thinking the Japs insane for building so many buildings, so tall, in a extremely earthquake-proned island; but I guess economic expansion IS the bottomline of a modern society.

Arriving in Shinjuku, we were given time to explore the vicinity of the Shinjuku Prince Hotel prior to dinner. Thousands of people filled the streets, most of which were sharply dressed and of the working class. Of particular interest was a cross-shaped pedestrian crossing, which, when the Green Man came on, cars from all 4 directions would stop, and the crossing would be purely for pedestrians from all corners of the junction to cross in whichever direction they pleased; chaotic yet remarkably efficient.

After the customary Muji obsession and some fruitful T-shirt shopping, the entourage headed for Isetan (which closes at 8pm as with most departmental stores in Japan), and gravitated towards the supermarket; the obsession with food never ceased. The star of the show had to be the PERFECT MELON, of amazingly flawless texture and surrounded by a holy glow, the only thing that could compete with the beauty of the Perfect Melon was its equally remarkable 10500 yen (SGD 130) price tag. Obviously the poverty-stricken Count had to give it a miss.

1 scrumptious buffet dinner and about 7 fresh pieces of crab later, the entourage (minus 1, due to bodily weakness) were back on the streets of Shinjuku again to explore the nightlife.

Against the dark night sky, the advertising lights frantically dazzled away, trying to vie for our 3 seconds of attention; visually saturating and perhaps even blinding; I realised that I couldn't keep my attention focused on one signboard long enough to attempt to read the words with my half-assed Japanese. Amidst all the blinding flashes, what ironically caught my attention was a traditional little red and yellow banner advertising for condoms and safe sex. But I guess with 2,000 eateries in the area, it is no wonder that they are all desperating fighting for the same consumer attention to woo the same consumer stomach.

The red-light action was in full force, as drug peddlers (who called their wares Psychedelic Love Pills), Black pimps, and 3-pieced door-men beckoning customers into their strip clubs or Love Hotels, littered the streets of Kabuki Cho. The one that caught my attention was a Ancient Greek-themed one complete with fake statues. I quickly learned that the way to identify a Love Hotel was to look at its windows, as all Love Hotels had opaque windows.

The only thing that stood any fighting chance against the lust-filled atmosphere of the district was the Spirit of Gambling as numerous Pachinko Parlours lined the streets. Often regarded as the number one past-time in Japan, (yes, even beating AV movies and Schoolgirl / Body Angel Sex), the past few days have proved that no matter the city, as long as its a bustling hub, Pachinko parlours were inevitable. Looking like arcades on the outside, the venture inside taught us nothing about the rules of the game, as we watched the patrons skillfully turning some wheel.

As a relief from all the smut, I seeked to find the rumoured all-in-one-vending-machine, now that we were in the bustling heart of Tokyo. 1 Haagen-Daaz machine and 1 Hot-food dispensing machine later, the landslide victory was taken by a machine in the Hotel Lift Lobby, that dispensed everything from food stuff, to pads, to men's briefs.

A visit to the subway station reaffirmed the likening of the Japanese work culture as a Rat Race as rush hour traffic was witnessed at 11.30p.m.; an observation in accordance to Chin-chin's trivia of the Japanese norm of knocking off at approximately 11 every night. However, it seems that 2.a.m. is still regarded as a universal time for slumber in most of the mortal realm, as the blinding lights dimmed and the flow of human traffic evaporated, while exorbidant cabs and the Vampire reign supreme.

Vampire in Japan: Day 4 - The Course of Nature

15th May 2007

Hamanako Lake: Watch the Early Morning Sun, Drip like Blood from the Day

In its almost-summer season, I noticed that the sun rises in Japan at 4.30 a.m. That probably accounts for a hell lot of daylight savings, but well, that was the last thing on my mind when the sun shone into my room, and made me wake up to this...

A serene sight to wake up to, only enhanced by the rejuvenating experience of gazing at the view in an outdoor Onsen. The hotel's policy was to switch the Onsen locations for each gender at 6 a.m. every morning, so while the gals got the outdoor Onsen the night before, they were probably staring at naught, while we got the soothing morning view. The outdoor Onsen was A LOT more soothing, especially when you have the chilly morning wind threatening to blow your balls off if you don't stay in the Onsen.

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Peace Park: War and Peace

The journey from the West continued as the entourage and I continued on our quest to attain Nirvana (which I heard is often found at the top of big mountains). While not exactly Nirvana itself, our first stop of the day gave us a little slice of Zen to momentarily quell our (dark) souls. Dubbed "Peace Park" by the locals, a rather steep, winding path brought us to a quiet hilltop spot with a blown-up bonsais, statues, sacred bells and a large Buddha monument to top it off. All was well save for the flashes of lightning that preludes the impending rain that threatened to ruin my 'manly' mirror-primed crown.

Not Pictured: Lightning

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Premium Factory Outlet: Hark! Nirvana!

With the superb planning of the conspirers behind the whole concept of tourism, a little relief for our souls was followed by an intended relief of our wallets at a premium factory outlet; must be part of that "feel-good-spend-more" psycho-babble. Our aimless wandering about the chain of stores reaped little rewards as the only affordable point of interest was G.A.P. ... or so we thought... until we discovered that we had omitted an ENTIRELY different wing, one that had a Muji store to satisfy the obsession of a particular female member in the entourage.

We had to cross a long bridge built high upon the tree tops in order to reap the new-found harvest, and the Rock Star, being a photo-whore just had to lag behind and snag some pics.

Suddenly, the entourage turned around and started pointing in my direction, and for a moment I thought that the veil had finally been removed from their eyes and they recognized me for the Rock star that I was/am, but no, what they were pointing at was...

...A measly, little mountain with a distinctive snow-capped peak, the key to ascension into Nirvana, Mt. Fuji. Chin-chin said that Fate plays the role of the match-maker between a person a Mt. Fuji, that you will only be able to see her if Fate so allows you to. Looks like the entourage and I were a blessed bunch then, and Nirvana was fated to be ours to attain.

But well, hell hath no fury like the obsession of a woman, so we quickly hurried to Muji with the little time we had left. Since I am not much of a shopper, I decided to constructively use the time to goof-off with the guys instead.

But someone was SO obsessed with shopping that she left her camera pouch behind as a tip, inclusive of the spare battery and memory stick. Anxiety ensued as the entourage searched frantically for the unintended tip. With 3 minutes left on the clock, a desperate pitch in simple English towards the Muji staff managed to recover the cursed object. The next 3 minutes were hell... I RAN.

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Lake Ashino: Lake of Poison

Being not very used to actually shuffling my legs so fast, the Count was panting to and through lunch, which took the form of an Udon set. The stars of the meal had to be the Wasabi and Plum Seasonings, so much so that I bought 3 bottles for myself.

Our post-lunch journey took us to Lake Ashino. Considering that it is on rather high-ground, I would expect it to be a crater lake. Rather stark juxtaposition as we boarded a gaudy, funky looking pirate ship aboard a peaceful lake surrounded by wondrous scenery and man-made architecture that eased into the natural landscape, kinda reminded me of the Korean country-side landscape I witnessed a year back.

Lush greenery flooded my visual senses, as the afternoon sun reflected off the surface of the still water, with a gentle lakeside breeze carassing my face as the boat sailed on. A took a deep breath to absorb to essence of the surrounding nature, before heading down to pose for the picture of the day...

Yes, that is YMCA in the middle of Lake Ashino. Yes, we were all hooked to Elite Beat Agents over the last 2 days. And yes, Siwei's sense of rhythm really sucks.

A good 20-minutes, we were on the other side of the lake, refreshed and rejuvenated (again) enough to look refreshingly refreshed in a group photo.

But still, nothing rejuvenates my dark soul as much as a bottle of poison, so I just had to model for my addiction.

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Owakudani Boiling Valley: Smells like Steam Spirit

Sunset beckoned as we approached our last designated natural sight-seeing stop in our "Course of Nature." Owakudani Boiling Valley was a mountainous zone with rather immense volcanic activity. Potted with sulphur boiling pits throughout the mountain or valley (whatever they want to call it), the sulphuric content wasted no time in making its presence known to our olfactory senses the moment we got off the bus. Wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be though, at least relative to the manure-like assault the night before; kinda smelt like black sesame, if you ask me.

The entourage and I decided to scale up the boiling beast for a better view of the landscape, compensating our olfactory comfort. The smell got a little more pungent as we got up-close-and-personal with the boiling pits. Steam, lots of steam, emitted from said pits. Apparently (again, this is if I translated Chin-chin's words correctly), the locals actually use these boiling pits to cook some food, in particular a specific type of bird egg. The purported effect of eating one of these eggs was that it would extend your lifespan by 7 years, and one person could have a maximum extension of 14 years, by eating 2 eggs.

"Wow, that would effectively put my lifespan at 54 if I ate two eggs," I thought to myself. But later, I realised that smelling all that sulphur probably already cost me 7 years of my life, so well, break-even I guess.

The Count is an avid fan out mountain top views, and the view from the top from the top fused with the gentle lighting of the sunset took my sarcastic breath away. Inevitably, my quest for posing in front of every Zen-esque scene continued as I took this...

A hike down the mountain took us to the shops which were about to call it a day. To our HORROR, the black life-prolonging eggs were SOLD OUT (as if my lifespan is not short enough already), so we just had to settle for the packeted eggs, crossing our fingers for longevity. At least they had Wasabi Ice Cream, which was actually not as bad as I had anticipated; more like milky cream ice-cream littered with tinges of stinging Wasabi, quite tantalizing.

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Lake Side Rest Stop: Second Sighting of Nirvana

A long bus ride bound for our accomodation for the night took a rest stop at a certain unnamed lake side. If Fate really plays a part in the sighting of Mt. Fuji, that she has surely been too kind with the entourage as Nirvana played the supporting role of the background scenery once again for our photos. This time, viewed with the dust skyline, the mountain gave off a stronger aura of mysterious beauty.

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Hotel Sinko: Free the Bird for Good Luck

The night ended with a much-needed Japanese spread with hot plate pork and Sashimi (finally!). Dinner was pleasant, save for the row of aunties in our tour group behind laughing HYSTERICALLY throughout the dinner about some joke that only menopausal women would find amusing.

The post-dinner party had us sampling the Life-prolonging Black eggs, which really tasted like normal hard-boiled eggs, far from the disgusting-hard-to-swallow elixirs depicted in Chinese dramas.

Onsen abounded as I refused to bath in the VERY cramped bathtub, except this time, we were the only ones there. So, the thought of sneaking a picture of the Onsen crossed my morbid mind. Post-bath, I went up to smuggle my camera down under my towel, snuck through the dark corridors, into the Onsen, only to discover a middle-aged naked Japanese dude in the bath. Probably an authentic prop to have in the photo, but not exactly the most legally sound.

Discovery of the night was that I suck at tying Yukatas, as the Chinaman suggested sleeping in one for the night; to authenticate the entire Ryokan (traditional Japanese Inn) experience of sleeping on the Tatami (floor). So, since I figured that they didn't have briefs in traditional Japan, I freed the bird for that night, only to discover its mischief of slipping through the slit in its cage a few times throughout the night.

Vampire in Japan: Day 3 - Journey from the West

14th May 2007

Shinkansen: Bullet Witch

The morning started with a first-hand rush-experience with the Japanese morning commute. Men-in-black all around us, as we approached the gantry to board the bullet train. Perhaps this was the Japanese conformity so oft-cited as a trait of their society. Men in their late-twenties all the way to men in their fifties were sharply dressed in three-pieces, the only difference being the styling efforts taken by the younger crowd. But even though they had styled long hair, the one thing about these executives were that they didn't have colour, Black never goes out of fashion.

The train station was littered with shops, mostly food-related. Unlike the local MRT, eating IS allowed on Japanese trains (yet they still manage to maintain the standard of cleanliness), and the sheer number of take-out eateries in the train station echo their on-the-go lifestyle.

The 9.30a.m. Shinkansen (Bullet Train) took us on a 15-minute ride from Osaka to Kyoto. The Shinkansen had a oddly-shaped witch's nose, probably a result of some engineering jargon about air resistance and speed. Speaking of which, I had NO idea what the exact speed of the Shinkansen was, but if judging by the speed of the buildings whizzing by us, and the speed at which we bypassed an oncoming NORMAL (snail) train, I would say its REALLY fast.

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Kyoto: The City of the Ancients

They love their Towers as much as their Desserts

Kyoto is often heralded as a city with strong Japanese cultural heritage. But we were welcomed into said culture with a 1.5 hour shopping spree in Isetan to hunt for lunch. The entourage mostly bought Bento sets from the station while I opted for a warmer lunch, fit for a man of my stature. The one thing that I learnt was that the Japanese love their desserts, so much so that they almost dedicate one entire basement floor to all manner of delectable delicacies and delightful desserts. But lunch was decided to be a medley of Okonomiyaki (Japanese pancake), Yakitori sticks and a cup of Godiva Dark Chocolate Ice Cream to satisfy the sweet-tooth (Yes, they have THAT there).

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Kyo Bridge: Connecting People

The first piece of hereditary scenery that we encountered for the day was a little bridge by a mountain side, Kyo Bridge. I was a little pre-occupied with my feast in the bus to take heed to what Chin-chin was actually saying about the place. But well, the scenery was nice enough to attract ducks, and the visual flood of Japanese schoolgirls didn't hurt either.

Mountains and Rivers soothe the Dark Soul

Bridging Distances

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Nishijin Textiles Centre: Remnants of the Geisha

A lazy, sunny afternoon ushered as into the much-appreciated air-conditioned textile centre. Shopping was a chore for me, as I OBVIOUSLY did not have enough metrosexuality to consider wearing a kimono or anything like. What I did have, however, was an appreciative eye for the ladies (especially towards one of them), during the Kimono show. The little trivia that I picked up about Kimonos is that apparently, you need some sorta license to actually help people put on a Kimono, think I should get one too, for *ahem* good reason. Anyway, the kinky thoughts which started to formulate when I saw the first model, ran right into a wall from the second model onwards... oh well... at least the Kimonos were undeniably beautiful.

My Favourite Model

My Favourite Kimono

Thorns and Roses

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Kiyomizu Shrine: Amazing but Unlikely

The Zen-esque climax of the day had to be our last sight-seeing stop for the day, the Kiyomizu Shrine. A short hike through streets crowded with school children took us to the shrine, built of Cypress wood, no screws or nails used.. I could have sworn I was destroying this VERY shrine in Otogi. Upon entering, I discovered that the shrine was actually one of the candidates nominated for the new 7 wonders of the world. The view from the protruding platform was ABSOLUTELY breathtaking, one side facing the Kyoto city landscape, and the other side facing a scenic potpourri of lush greens and yellows. Both the China-man and I agreed that the view would probably be astonishing in autumn, when the trees are all red and yellow... pity.

Bird's Eye View

Straight from Otogi

BE-AU-TI-FUL

As with most shrines, temples or sacred places in Japan, there were stone basins near the entrance and throughout the shrine. The purpose of these were for cleansing oneself before entering sacred grounds; and it was customary to wash your left, then right hand, followed by gargling your mouth with the water. I wasn't exactly sold on the gargling part though. Also common place throughout the shrine were wish boards, or whatever they are officially called. These are the boards where lonely Jap kids come and write wishes about getting laid or landing a PS3 or becoming the next hot AV star or things like that, and then hanging them up on the board.

Stands or booths were scattered throughout the shrine, with chics in the cute religious costumes or uniforms, selling various charms. While the China-man was mesmerized by the "Pass Examination" charm, what piqued my interest was the "Find Love" one. But after giving it some thought, I realised that MAYBE, I don't wanna find love, or least not the serious kind of love, and I am not too sure if the charm actually helps you find some hot, casual, lovin'. So I settled on the "For Happiness" charm instead; since I figured if casual flings were my source of happiness, then the "For Happiness" charm would probably serve the purpose more appropriately.

Also of interest were pools, or fountains in which people prayed by donating money (optimally 500 yen), used a desired scoop to wash themselves, clap twice, make a wish, clap twice and bow. Kinda like the way you see them make wishes in anime. Oh, and there was this weird voodoo thing that is like "White Voodoo," where you write what you want the person to do on the piece of paper and soak it in a pail. Makes me wonder if I were to write some of my lusty fantasies on the thing, would they actually come true?

The most interesting thing in the shrine had to be a pair of rocks known as "Lover's Rocks." Apparently, it is said that if you can walk from one rock to another with your eyes closed, then it means you will be able to find love. Well, guess I have to apologise to the poor school boy I bumped into and probably ruined his love career prematurely, can't help being THIS destructive I guess.

The Vampire's Verdict: While I was awe-struck at the beauty of the scenery from the platforms and absorbed the thick essence of the religious culture and heritage from the visit to the shrine (allowing my Zen level to increase), my honest assessment of the shrine as a Wonder of the world is that, it is rather unlikely; especially up against tremendous odds such as the vast splendour of the Great Wall or the amazing architecture of the Pyramids. Still, the fact that the shrine can be nominated as one of the 21 candidates is already a form of recognition of its splendour.

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Nagoya: Rest Stop

A LONG 2.5 hour bus ride allowed my newly acquired Zen to settle into my soul. Dinner presented itself in the heart of Nagoya, a feast of Mackerel and Ebi Prawns, which was quite up the Count's alley (sinful deep fried stuff is almost ALWAYS welcome). Town observations included the essential Tower and a Ferris wheel attached to a shopping centre (now, that is a LITTLE over-the-top).

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Onsen: Vampire in Heat

A perfect finish to a soul-fulfilling day awaited us in the form of a nice, warm (UNDERSTATEMENT) bath in the Onsen (Hot spring), at the Hamanako Lake Side Spa Hotel. After being greeted by some manure-like smell to tickle our senses, and gawking at how big and nice the room was (Tatami area included); the entourage and I slipped into our Yukatas and marched onward towards our initiation into the Onsen experience. I have no idea about the gals, but as far as I knew, the guys all agreed to go "Freebird," so it was a REALLY windy walk from our hotel room to the Onsen, and I think my goofing off by putting my ribbon behind me like what single Jap chics do really caused a little more trouble than expected. The slit was threatening to expose "the package" down the hotel hallways, but a little tight-fisted action kept the slit in place. Keyword: "Ooki" (Japanese for: Big).

A pity that the Onsen was not a mixed one, so much for checking out who had the nicest pair of boobies in our tour group; even though I was told that the harsh reality of it was that I would most probably be staring at Obasans' and Obaasans' saggy, wrinkled boobies, if it were a mixed bath. The Obaasan I saw in the Yukata was already enough to send horrendous images through my imagination and shivers down my undead spine.

The Onsen required us to strip down to our barest, and the normal procedure would be to use a small towel to cover our chin-chins as we entered the public bath. After stepping into the misty, surreally-lit bath, it was etiquette to take a small stool, sit by the shower heads at the side to rinse and shower before entering the bath proper. The bath was HOT, REALLY HOT!!! Maintained at a constant temperature of some 40 degrees, I could feel the skin on my corpse stretch as I entered the hot bath. Once I gathered enough machismo to submerge my entire body, I tried not to move any part of my body anymore, as it felt like my flesh was tearing as I moved.

But the (im)mortal body is a wondrous thing; apparently the body is extremely adaptive to its surroundings, so much so that in time, I started to get used to the heat and actually started to feel a soothing rush flow through my mind and body. The heat relaxed the bodily muscles and I could actually crack my toes in the water just by bending them. Quite an out-of-body experience, I must say, as I savoured the bodily relaxation.

However, 20 minutes was more than enough to cook most of the entourage into lobsters, as we tapped out to the heat one at a time. The proper way was actually to go in and out of the Onsen a few times, some weird hot-cold-hot-cold procedure. But the drowsiness experienced after standing up was enough to put most of us on the bench for the night. And the thing is that, after showering and drying, we were still dripping wet from sweat.

Back in the room, we decided to do some male-bonding by photo-whoring in the most manly manner possible while waiting for the chics to come back. It took them about an hour, in which we suspected that they might have fainted in the heat or something, but I guess they were just too busy gossiping about who had the nicest breasts to worry about minute details such as the time.

As Manly as it gets in Dresses