The End of the Beginning...

"My name is Jeremy Kang, and 2 days a week, I am a Facilitator. For the other 5 days, I'm a Game Designer, and that automatically makes cool."

And with these words, I began my first term into the World of Academia; a world riddled with uncertainty, a world shrouded in mystery; one that placed me on the other side of the table from where I was not too long ago, and one that I was hardly sure of whether I was ready for or not.

One way or another, I walked out of the first semester alive, and it has indeed been a very different 17 weeks, walking out with a lot less questions and a bit more answers.

"I'm simply here to impart my knowledge to you, not here to be your damn Role Model."

And indeed, these words rang true throughout the classes.

Irony is a bitch, no qualms about that. I remembered how I used to tell people that teaching was the last thing on my mind; and yet, the Fates just have a nice way of blind-siding you and pinching you in the ass for making such comments - and I must have one helluva ass to them.

But upon reflection, perhaps the main point leading to such a career being so unimaginable to me was perhaps largely due to my impatience and dislike for nonsense, not to mention my disrespect for ideals and self-righteous beliefs of "moulding future generations" and all that bull.

Fortunately, I didn't have to show any of the above-mentioned qualities, and could retain my characteristical -self throughout most of the lessons - minus the profuse swearing maybe.

I remember the question posed to be during my interview:

"You look really young. Is respect important to you? How would you get your students to respect you?"

Yes, perhaps age was my biggest worry walking into the class, and getting the students to listen to me in the first place. But at the same time, over the course of the semester, I think it has probably proven to be my greatest asset as well, as the relatively lesser age-gap allowed me to better relate to the students on a more personal level, sharing in their ridiculous jokes and whatnot.

And yet, when it was time to for work, my answer probably rang true, that:

"Respect is irrelevant of age; it is more of a matter of establishing a point of relation and being able to get your points across."

"9 to 4.30, I'm your Facilitator, after 4.30, we're friends."

Perhaps "Respect" is a bit overrated when you consider the context, as the environment lends itself a lot more towards an informal learning experience, than trying to impose a hard-and-fast one.

And indeed, knowing when to play the "Respect" and "Friendship" cards went a long way towards establishing the classroom dynamics, and I think it's a lot better this way, no matter how frowned upon it might be by some more conventional minds.

"So what makes you think you are ready to teach?"

This was one of the most stifling questions shot at me during the interview. And honestly, after 17 weeks, I can't really say that I'm any wiser towards answering that question, and maybe I will never be.

But honestly, that's ok. Because for every doubt raised, at least now I know that there are at least some answers that would justify otherwise; and that alone would allow me to sleep better at night, knowing that I at least did some semblance of my designated job.

To my first class, thanks for the hardwork, tolerance, birthdays, photo-whoring, jokes, laughter and memories...

E24N

Art is never Finished...

A visit to the "Da Vinci - The Genius" Exhibition at the Science Centre proved to be a rather fruitful one over the Public Holiday.

Fascinating was how the mind of 1 man could actually be divided into so many sections for exhibition, ranging across both left and right brain-domained subjects, from physics to art; truly earning Da Vinci the rights to his exhibition's moniker.

I found both disciplines almost equally fascinating, but the Lady enjoyed the "Art" section a lot more, especially the "Mona Lisa" segment. More than that though, was I amazed at how Da Vinci viewed Art and Science holistically, and pursued both disciplines in a harmonious tandem.

Perhaps not fun in the "fun" sense, as we left the exhibition with a weary back and aching feet, but definitely a feast for the mind, and with just enough take-outs to ponder about and to be inspired by.

The biggest take-away for the day?

"Art is never Finished, Only Abandoned."

- Leonardo Da Vinci

The Road to Ruin

- "You can sleep when you're dead." -

But Death only seems to be creeping up on me sooner at this rate.

40 hours to Judgment and the Restoration of Life as I know it.

Crowne Plaza: Runaway by the Runway

11th July 2009

Light and Shadow

"Just let me take this photo," I said, sensing her looming behind me and with a slight sense of beckon.

It was obvious she was planning something, as she had urged me to take a seat amidst the vibrant colours of the hotel lobby a little earlier, while she went to check us in and perhaps attend to the said surprise. Surely I had my guesses, but the better part of me emptied my mind to the environment around me, to subject myself to a potentially greater sense of surprise for whatever was in store.

Surrounded by vibrant colours of the furnishing with a strong emphasis on contemporary shapes and curves, the furnishing of the Hotel Lobby well-complemented the modern architecture of the building.

Technicolour World

While the theme on the lobby played heavily on colours, the corridors that had led us there earlier played on another aspect, that of lighting, and how it strived to create a sense of rhythm. Streaks of sunlight streamed into the winding corridors on alternating bands, as the Lady and I had earlier traversed, moving through the light and shadow at a steady pace, with an almost parallel swirl of emotions, alternating between the darkness of the unknown that we were walking into and the warmth of the excitement that filled our hearts.

Shadow / Light

All these emotions were about to culminate into a climax that awaited us 9 storeys up. I braced myself and rose from my seat, lifting my bag, and taking her hand and with a warm smile, taking slow and heavy strides across the lobby and through the lift doors.

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Runaway by the Runway

A beep, a click and the swinging of the door marked the prelude to our little weekend hideaway. Anticipation ran through my soul as I put my first foot forward, walking through the narrow doorway until I came into full view of the room, and much beyond that.

"Wow!", I squealed, ruining my composure there and then, as I let out my first sign of visible excitement since we embarked on our little "runaway."

Warmly lit and equipped with a sofa area, a large double bed, a flat screen wall-hung TV, and even an iPod dock; these extravagant features seemed secondary compared to the 2 bigger fishes. A luxurious bathroom with a unique glass wall that looked into and subsequently out of the room, decorated with flower petal decals, gave the room a more spacious and definitely more unique feel of openness and transparency, in additional to serving it's decorative purpose.

She's Everywhere

But definitely the biggest draw lay behind the white satin curtains. I approached it slowly; first grabbing a Dark Chocolate off the specially-prepared Birthday Treat laid out on the desk, and as the outer shell started to melt in my mouth, the sweet warm chocolate fudge at its centre rushed out and unto my tongue.

"Oh, you actually noticed the chocolates? It was specially prepared for you, you know?" she said, with a hint of pride in her voice.

"Yeah, I know," I said naturally, always self-believing that I knew more than I did.

Approaching the curtains, I drew it slightly to take a garner at the view that lay before my shade-covered eyes.

Peek-a-Boo

A giant Singapore Airlines carrier was full-frontal, staring right at me and slowly making her way towards me, definitely in hopes of getting a bit more upclose and personal with the Birthday Boy, as she inched slowly towards my position and then took a turn to the right. In the background, on the runway, another one of her sisters was preparing to take flight, while on the parallel runway a Qatar Airline's carrier raced her to the skies.

Racing Queens

I pressed my ears to the glass, straining to listen to the sounds I remembered from the numerous occasions to the Viewing Gallery in my youth, as a Turkish Airline's carrier was greeted by the warm tarmac of our sunny island. Indeed, it felt like we had our own little personal viewing gallery, just for the Lady and I.

I drew the curtains wide, to share the view with the Lady who made it possible and we stood there in silence, just watching the activities on the runway for a little while.

For Your Eyes Only

"Thank you, Darling," I turned to her and said, breaking the silence.

She looked back at me with her large, round eyes and smile, one that showed a thorough sense of joy, and yet conveyed a sense of suppression - perhaps towards the things that were yet to come...

Changi Broadwalk: Over the Broadwalk, Under the Sun

20th June 2009

"We're at the wrong place," I exclaimed, with a sudden realization upon looking at the map. In fact, we were on the totally opposite end of the beach.

Rushing back to the car, I sped down the driveway, in a race against the setting sun. Indeed, procrastination in itself was already a nasty beast, add the weather-jinx and ill-luck (with carpark and navigation problems) into the mix, and the realization of our long-planned photo-expedition seemed so close and yet so far.

Man is the master of his own destiny, and Immortals... well, a little more than that - making it to the broadwalk just as the Sun drew her last breaths along the horizon. But this was what we were here for, to capture her dying moments.

The competition was on, with the Lady pitting her (relatively) newly-acquired camera against my (relatively) newly-acquired photo-theory.

We strolled down the walkway, heads turning from side to side, trying to see the world around us in frames, trying to find the right composition, trying to find our perfect pictures.

Identifying my first frame, I clicked and shot, but was far from happy with the results. Thus, in turn, tinkered with the settings till I found what I wanted. Lighting is always a bitch when it comes to photography, but sunset lighting is even harder to depict. In the end, I decided to go with a slightly-warmer feel for my photos.

First Frames

Down the bridge and along the coast, we continued down the well-laid paths in somewhat erratic rotations; her focus was mostly on objects while I tried to look for a bit more landscape. Being more of an artist than a techie, composition often plays a bigger part for me, and I have an incline towards looking for slightly more abstract and interesting shapes.

Freebird

A well-hidden bridge along the seaside gave rise to the inspiration of some peak-a-boo shots (according to the Lady), shots that seemingly focused on one thing, but were actually meant to showcase something else in the background. A pity that I couldn't create a Depth of Field effect with my Nikon though.

Peak-a-Boo

The sky started to spread a warm blanket of pink over us, as we made it to arguably the most distinct spot along the broadwalk, an isolated little pavilion that overlooked the sea.

Isolation

Perhaps as distinct as the pavilion itself is the lone withered tree that resides beside it. Branches bare and outstretched in agony, the singular tree stands alone, enduring the perpetual torment of the waves beating again her trunk as she looks out towards the open sea, longingly perhaps, for an escape from this loneliness.

Solitary

Inspired by my interpreted-plight of the poor entity, I decided to try to creatively shift my White Balance to provide a slightly more fitting landscape - not to mention partially inspired by my current work as well.

Before: Present Day

After: Post-Apocalyptic

"Dude, there's an Iguana on the tree, you might wanna shoot it," a friendly fisherman in the pavilion said to me, as I was shooting my creative close-ups of the tree. As I tried to place my focus on the beast, the slippery reptile had already slipped beyond my sight and into the water. Little did I know however, I had actually already captured it in my close-ups.

Camouflaged

"1, 2, 3...." I counted, as I pressed the shutter, as she almost immediately came over to my side to see how the photos turned out.

"Crap, it's over-exposed" I told her. "But you know what, it's kinda cool, haha."

Obviously, she had no choice but to agree.

Accidental Beauty

Strolling down a winding path under the resorts had us bombarded with shouts of excitement and the smokes of barbeque from the chalets above.

Attempting to do an artistic shot, the Lady accidentally stumbled upon a surprisingly cool effect, taking the shot through the lens of our shades.

Through the Lens

We walked a little more, under the shade of palm trees that we already mostly unnecessary as the sun was already in her final moments and the only remnants of her glory were streaks on a distant horizon.

The Unnecessary Shade

Dark clouds and flashes of lighting beckoned us to turn around as we approached the sailing club, and perhaps more than fitting, as night had already fallen and the scenery beyond was much less captivating than what we had transcended before. Familiarity hardly bred contempt, as the once-familiar path had taken on a whole new light.

One for the Road

As we reached our point of origin, I could not help but use the metaphor of "Reflection" as the final frame to bring closure to our more than fulfilling journey.

Reflections

It's funny how things work out sometimes. If you had asked me to go on a photo-trip a few months back, I would have scorned at the very thought of it. Yet, since I started to better embrace photo-theory, a new-found interest seems to have been kindled in me to put this theory into practice. Of course, having good company doesn't hurt either.

Oh, and about the verdict of the competition, of course I believe that I won hands down. But don't take my word for it, see it for yourself here.

The Lies of Gestalt

"The whole is greater than the sum of its parts" has never resounded more untruly than now.

Taking on the reins of 2 "part-time" jobs in actually makes me feel busier than when I was doing a 5-day work week full-time. As much as I only have 2 "official" working days, I am hardly "free" or even considered "flexible."

In fact, when there are things such as 20 hour work-days, and to only play 1-hour in total over 4-days for a hardcore nut like me probably says more than enough.

Surely, few can understand the overheads, coordination and required brain-segmentation to work between 2 jobs, across 2 very different cognitive domains, and on 2 very different cycles. It's times like this when the cliche of "24 hours being not enough" has to be said.

A stark contrast from my perhaps-too-idle 4 months at the start of the year.

I sat and wondered which was actually worse, being too busy, or simply too free? Which is worse, aimlessly floating in the open sea or climbing an almost insurmountable mountain? In short, the former.

Days are not hard to pass in leisure floating out in the open, but such a lifestyle is perhaps more than detrimental in the long run, as you just get entertained to death; and before you know it, a month, a year, or even 10, has passed you by, and you have nothing much to put to your name.

In Ian Fleming words:

"In at least one religion, acedia is the first of the cardinal sins. So boredom, and particularly the incredible circumstance of waking up bored, was the only vice Bond utterly condemned."

So while I am busy to the point of suffocation these days, coming right out of the other extreme, I actually derive some sort of masochistic pleasure to know that my days are overly wrung, but always with the underlying though that at least I feel that I'm getting somewhere, doing something, and hopefully inching towards my longer-term goals.

Now, if only I could find the Beauty that is Moderation in my life.... guess she continues to elude me as always.

The Flash is a Lie...

The cold morning wind stroked my cheeks as the plastic bag in my hand bobbed up and down with each swerve and bump of the jeep. Its contents still fresh from the oven, as the smell of the Sausage McMuffin raced up my olfactory senses, bringing about a sense of familiarity and yet, distance at the same time - perhaps as long as you are donned in the green uniform, everything civilian seems like a distant luxury that serves to remind you of your eventual endpoint.

I looked across me, watching my buddy's head bob in a similar fashion. eyes partially shrouded by the helmet on top of his head, but still revealing enough to tell that they were shut. The night before was a long and cold one for the both of us, taking turns to watch over the jeep at the ferry terminal throughout the night and hardly getting any winks in-between. Perhaps my slightly more nocturnal nature allowed my body to postpone the fatigue a little more than him, keeping me almost wide awake on our ride back.

The vehicle made a left at a junction that I was all-too-familiar with - no surprise considering that "home" was just 3 or 4 streets down - and filled my soul with a sense of warmth, despite the dampness of the uniform in contact with my skin, a natural consequence of a rainy night.

Going down the road, it was mostly us - me, my McMuffin and my buddy's bobbing head - save for the occasional post-rush-hour-vehicle that came from the opposite direction. Maintaining a comfortable speed, our vehicle approached the bend, causing our bodies to lean accordingly.

As we emerged from the bend, we saw a bus bypassing a vacant bus stop in the opposite direction. All of a sudden, screeches were heard and a sharp force threw me backwards. I looked at the driver, seeing him wrestling with the steering wheel in an attempt to regain control, but that was the least of our fears...

The said bus was heading toward us with a comfortable cruising speed, as we had obviously eaten into its lane. The next few things probably happened in a split-second, but remain vividly etched into my mind.

The bus let out a loud honk - the kind that the driver slams down on his horn in desperation or agitation - as I saw our driver using all of his might to turn the wheel towards the right. A piercing and extended screech accompanied a sharp force that threw me further backwards. I lost my visual orientation and saw the surrounding HDB flats spin around me. A purple and red blur whisked past me on the opposite side (my buddy's side) as we continued spinning and then a sudden thud bumped me slightly off my seat.

As I regained my visual stability and focus, I started to realise that the vehicle was uneven. A quarter of the vehicle went up the curb and a corner of the vehicle was inches away from hitting a roadside tree sprout. I sat there in shock, motionless for a few seconds, trying to process the entire sequence that had just transcended.

When I was finally able to shake myself out of the primal shock, and regained my cognitive abilities, morbid thoughts of the alternate possibility flooded my mind; constructing potential headlines that could possibly make the news the next day, the shock on my parents' faces and all.

Yes, it was indeed too-close-for-comfort experience, and if things had happened any differently, I would have ceased to exist, there and then - 4 streets away from the house that I grew up in, clothed in the discomfort of the slightly drenched green uniform, holding a plastic bag with an awaited-for-consumption Sausage McMuffin. The last thought that would have went through

my mind would probably be that sound and fury of the approaching bus.

Despite what is depicted in the movies, I never saw my entire life flash before my very eyes throughout the entire sequence; never saw my most indelible or heart-wrenching memories, I never saw any of the faces of those that I held most dear.

The.Flash.Is.A.Lie.

And this thought continued to bind me in a state of shock, as the sequence played back over and over again in my mind, unable to snap out of my disbelief.

Staring straight into space, something suddenly caught my attention. My buddy's head had stopped bobbing and I saw him widening his eyelids slowly, revealing his bloodshot eyes and a semi-dazed look; only to see transform into wide-eyed shock as he started to realise that something was amiss.

"What happened?" he asked me.

I stared blankly at him for a few moments, unable to utter a single word, as I wondering to myself if Ignorance would have indeed been Bliss if things had turned out any differently.

"You almost died without you knowing it," I finally uttered in a flat voice.